There was a time when I wanted straight hair, but the funny thing is, is it wasn't always like that.
I grew up in a city where people of all ethnic and racial backgrounds lived and back then, hair was just hair. Growing up in a city had its negatives as well as its positives, but when I was young, I didn't have enough time to see all sides of city living. It was only when I moved to a suburb when everything changed.
It took some time for suburbia to take its toll on me, but eventually it hit and I looked at myself differently one day. I couldn't understand why no one looked at me the way I did. I saw other young girls compliment each other, appreciate one another's beauty and I wanted that.
I grew up in a city where people of all ethnic and racial backgrounds lived and back then, hair was just hair. Growing up in a city had its negatives as well as its positives, but when I was young, I didn't have enough time to see all sides of city living. It was only when I moved to a suburb when everything changed.
It took some time for suburbia to take its toll on me, but eventually it hit and I looked at myself differently one day. I couldn't understand why no one looked at me the way I did. I saw other young girls compliment each other, appreciate one another's beauty and I wanted that.
I mustered up the courage to ask my mom for a Hot Tools Professional Straightener, and I constructed an ironclad argument to tell my her why I needed to burn my hair in order to make it better. "Your hair is so beautiful" my mom would often tell me. My thick waves were something to appreciate, not to throw away, she said, and there was a time when I agreed with her, but in a culture where women compliment each another's beauty almost as if it's a quality, you slowly start to believe that this is the only way to be seen, as a woman. If your beauty is something to notice, then maybe people would see me, really see me.
I finally got the straightener. I burned and I burned, but that wasn't enough. Even straight, my hair was so thick that it was impossible to manage. Its thickness was a monstrosity to me and I began to experiment with different methods when I went to the salon. First, I had it thinned. Then, I had it layered, but with all my efforts, nothing really took. It dawned on me that I had to accept my hair for what it was.
These past few years was when I began to experiment by shaving parts of my hair. First, it was a side fade, and then it was an undercut. And all of sudden it was because my hair was so thick that I could have such an interesting haircut. My thick hair was useful all of a sudden, and it was then that I began to embrace my thick hair, my thick waves. It took a long time, and frankly, I'm still on that journey of discovering my hair, but I'm thankful that I didn't give up on myself or my hair. I gave it that chance to live.
Also, check out my video 'Embracing My Hair.' It's a collaboration with La Mama Hada, Kristin Claxton and Dark Skinned Divas.
Wearing:
Thrifted Culottes
Thrifted Sleeveless Knit
Photos Taken With: Nikon D3200